Idiots

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Strive.To Humor Daily for October 24, 2000

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The joke of the day for October 24, 2000

IDIOTS IN SERVICE

This week, all our office phones went dead and I had to contact the

telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m.

and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time

window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you

before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to

do that, since our phones weren't working. He also re- quested that

we report future outages by email (Does YOUR email work without a

telephone line?).

IDIOTS AT WORK:

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase

when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name

on the back of the credit card.

She informed me that she could not complete the transaction

unless the card was signed.

When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary

to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt.

So I signed the credit card in front of her.

She carefully compared the signature

to the one I had just signed on the receipt.

As luck would have it, they matched.

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:

I live in a semi-rural area.

We recently had a new neighbor call the

local township administrative office

to request the removal of the

Deer Crossing sign on our road.

The reason:

too many deer were being hit by cars

and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.

She asked the person behind the counter

for "minimal lettuce." He said he was

sorry, but they only had iceberg.

IDIOTSIGHTING #1:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate

when an airport employee asked,

"Has anyone put any- thing in your baggage

without your knowledge?"

To which I replied,

"If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"

He smiled knowingly and nodded,

"That's why we ask."

IDIOT SIGHTING #2:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the

street. I was crossing with an intellectectually-challenged coworker

of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained

that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she

responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

IDIOT SIGHTING #3:

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker

who was leaving the company due to "downsizing,"

our manager commented cheerfully,

"This is fun. We should do this more often."

Not a word was spoken.

We all just looked at each other

with that deer-in-the-headlights

stare.

IDIOT SIGHTING #4:

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into

itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system

would not turn on.

IDIOT SIGHTING #5:

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up

our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the

service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock

the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I

instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was

unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" To which

he replied, "I know - I already got that side."

NOW DON'T YOU FEEL BETTER?

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